Social media is a fascinating paradox. While it has the ability to connect us to others, it can also separate and isolate us. And when it comes to your mental health, it all depends how you use it.
According to a recent survey from the Cleveland Clinic, one in two respondents said they’ve been feeling more stressed, anxious and/or depressed during the pandemic, and 57% have had to take a break from the news and/or social media to help reduce stress and/or anxiety.
While most (64%) say that they only use their phone to respond to something urgent when they are in the company of others, 42% admit that they often use their phone when in the company of others
Another 38% report that they feel lonely and three in ten (30%) say they often feel left out, depressed or inadequate after using social media.
“One of the reasons that social media can affect mental health in a negative way has to do with the tendency to compare ourselves to others,” says Dr. Natalie Bernstein, clinical psychologist and mental health coach. “There’s a saying: People aren’t always what they post to be. We tend to forget that people choose what they are posting and try to represent themselves in the best light.”
This means filtered photos, life achievements, and special moments are put on display. What we aren’t seeing are the everyday struggles. We tend to forget this aspect as we are scrolling through our feeds, Dr. Bernstein explains. These “perfect” moments can contribute to feelings of jealousy, disappointment, and even anger. The more we see posts like these, the more we view ourselves as different for not having the same experiences.
Social media and your mental health
It might feel like it’s been around forever, but social media is actually fairly new—but over the years, we’ve started to get a better understand of exactly what it’s doing to our mental health. Here’s what you should know.
Emotional contagion
There is a phenomenon related to our interactions with others called “emotional contagion.” This refers to the idea that witnessing strong emotions has a ripple effect. In social media, many posts can be controversial and elicit feelings of fear, dread, or anger, Dr. Bernstein states.
Oftentimes, there is little resolution to these feelings so we are left stuck with these emotions with no ability to process them. Also, with fewer social interactions, we are stuck trying to navigate these feelings alone and the negativity may further increase our feelings of isolation.
Related: How to Tell If Your Friend’s Social Media Post Is a Plea for Attention or a Cry for Help
It creates the perfect environment for comparison
“As a survival mechanism, our brains are hardwired to compare, especially socially, and look for patterns—and this occurs when scrolling on social media whether you realize it or not,” says Nick Frye, MS, LCPC, CHES, Behavioral Counseling Manager at OPTAVIA, a fast-growing health and wellness community focused on healthy habit creation. “To become more efficient at this, our brains developed a shortcut: we rely on recent examples to make evaluations in our own lives. It is called the availability heuristic, and it is why social media often creates impossible standards.”
Social media has been referenced as a “highlight reel” that displays our happiest moments and best material objects. The problem with this is it tends to make us feel inadequate, which can lead to lower self-confidence, Frye explains. From celebrities to professional sports players to entrepreneurs, social media has given us immediate access to compare ourselves to the best in their field or trade and has made being exceptional seem commonplace.
It’s addictive
Social media is designed to hold your attention and keep you engaged, Frye states. However, mindless scrolling (we have all been there) typically does not bring about positive emotional experiences (e.g. comparison). So, how do we end up addicted? Every now and then, it offers something valuable or entertaining. This is called a variable reward schedule—think of a slot machine—every now and then, you win. In the case of social media, your attention is what you are “gambling” with. Worried that you are going to miss valuable information or something helpful or funny or socially relevant, you keep scrolling.
This takes time and attention away from in-person interactions with family and friends, which are good for our mental health, Frye adds. We are social beings, and social media can be good and helpful; it has offered greater access for those who are disabled or underserved and has allowed us all to connect with more people than ever before, but it should not replace (or win out over) in-person interactions.
Related: Here Are 10 Things That Happen When You Quit Social Media
How to moderate your social media use
“Recommendations for limiting social media are associated with setting boundaries and having limits, much in the same way you would for children,” says Dr. Bernstein. Here are a few ways to accomplish this:
Establish a physical boundary
Don’t keep your phone near you at all times. Do not check it first thing in the morning or right before bed when you may be more sensitive to social media.
Set a time limit
Before you begin to check your social media accounts, set a timer on your phone. Once that timer goes off, set your phone down and resume your day.
Reward/schedule
Just as you would use screen time as a reward for your child, do the same for yourself. Perhaps you agree to remain off of social media until you get home from work or maybe as a reward after you exercise.
Try a digital detox
Decide to take a break from social media one day a week. If that’s successful, maybe try an entire weekend. Take note of how you feel before and after—you may actually find yourself looking forward to some time away from screens.
Prioritize balance
Try to make sure you have direct contact with friends and family outside of social media. After using social media, for example, call or text a friend.
Talk to a mental health professional
If social media begins to contribute to feelings of anxiety or depression, seek help. There are many treatment approaches to explore phone addiction, mood disorders, and relationship issues associated with overuse.
Related: 30 Best Mental Health Apps of 2021
Use social media to connect, not compare
Instead of falling into the comparison trap, use social media as a tool to stay connected. Many social media platforms can serve as a resource for support from friends, family or someone else who has been in your shoes and can offer advice. Join a healthy community, like an online book club, group fitness class or local moms Facebook group. A supportive network of people who can offer positivity and encouragement toward meeting a goal or just a listening ear will go a long way.
Limit news exposure
Many people (up to 53%) get their news from social media. While it is crucially important that we all stay well informed and listen to reputable sources of information, over-exposure to the media cycle can be related to increased fear and worry. The negative news is more attention-grabbing and can therefore wind up in your feed more often than positive news. Interestingly, positive news will generally have less of an impact on a person’s behavior and cognition than something equally emotional but negative. If you find yourself obsessively checking the news and coming away from it with a sense of increased anxiety or fear, try limiting your news exposure to about 30 minutes per day.
Establish a digital sunset
Using electronic devices before bed can send confusing signals to your brain in the form of blue light and disrupt your sleep. Therefore, a small, healthy habit that you can establish is a “digital sunset.” This means signing off of social media and putting your devices down ideally 60 minutes before you would like to be asleep to prepare yourself for restful sleep. Try replacing social media with something that relaxes your mind, like journaling or reading.
Don’t look for the proverbial car wreck
“Don’t look at pictures of ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, or ex-spouses,” says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York-based neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University. “There is almost a guarantee that no good will come from this.”
Get a hobby
The busier you are engaging in life, the less time you will have to focus on social media, explains Dr. Hafeez. People who are busy doing things they love don’t have as much time for chronic posting or scrolling.
Turn off cell phone and site notifications
Notifications pop up and beckon you to go through a certain app for endless non-productive time. The best thing to do here is delete, ignore, or turn them off.
Next, read why Meghan and Harry Quit Social Media for Good.
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