DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend wrote an embarrassing photo caption about us on Facebook for our anniversary.

Harriette Cole 

The caption was long and wordy, and he highlighted the fact that he didn’t initially want to be in a relationship with me. He swears he meant well, but I’m humiliated. How do I handle this?

Embarrassing Caption

DEAR EMBARRASSING CAPTION: Sometimes people blur reality with social media, and that often leads to trouble.

The details of your relationship should be public knowledge only if you both agree on that. Clearly, you did not give your boyfriend your blessing for him to go into the nuances of how you became a couple.

Rather than break up with him, though, you need to have a serious conversation.  Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him you want to talk about boundaries. Let him know how hurtful his post was to you, regardless of his intention.

The outcome is what you are dealing with, namely that private details about your relationship are now public for all to read. Tell your boyfriend that you want to establish boundaries with him that will allow for you to build your relationship without spectators. While it may be true that it took him a while to realize that this was the relationship he wanted all along, that is your personal business — not to be broadcast through social media.

Invite your boyfriend to speak directly to you about his feelings and thoughts. At the same time, be firm and clear about your boundaries regarding the internet. For instance, if you want to approve the posting of photos that include you, require that. If you want to approve text about you, put that on the list.

This may infuriate your boyfriend if he is accustomed to posting freely, but you do have a right to your privacy. If he is unwilling to comply, that could be a dealbreaker. You have to get him to take your feelings seriously, so you will need to outline what is acceptable and what is not, and reinforce your stance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I stayed at my friend’s family-owned bed-and-breakfast a while ago, and they still haven’t refunded my security deposit.

I called the front desk formally to ask about it, and they said to contact my bank. My bank said I need to contact the hotel. I’m getting the runaround.

Should I confront my friend about this now?

Friend’s Business

DEAR FRIEND’S BUSINESS: Now is absolutely the time to call your friend. If you had a nice time, you can lead with that. But from there, get right into it.

Explain exactly what happened and the difficulty you have been having in simply getting your security deposit refunded. Typically, this would occur at checkout, certainly not days after your departure. Ask your friend to refund you the amount immediately.

If the situation is not resolved within a day or two, you should let them know you will have to call the Better Business Bureau to report them. This is business. Here’s a link to get you started if you determine you need to file a complaint: bbb.org/file-a-complaint.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.